Here in Livingstone, Zambia as I walk through our community, on dirt roads and pot whole ridden paved streets, I am constantly called by two names: Mzungu (Mazungu) and Big Mama.
Mazungu means white person/foreigner. When I am called mazungu, I can agree, yes, I do look different than my neighbors. I can wear the same clothes and style my hair the same but I will always look different.
When I am called Big Mama, it’s because of my size. Because of my size, it is assumed that I have had many children.
I have never been married and have not birthed any children.
Marriage and children are a desire of mine. The Lord knows the desires of my heart, to be a wife and mother.
I am in a period of practicing patience, trusting God to bring my helpmate (husband) along.
A man who has a deep relationship with Jesus. A man who loves people. A man of strong character, who is hard working and caring.
It’s a bonus if he is taller than me because I’m not always able to reach things.
Each time I am called Big Mama, I have the choice to let it bring me down by reminding me of what I do not have or to let it serve as a reminder of what I am waiting and believing the Lord for.
I choose to let Big Mama be a reminder of the promise God has given me – that I will be a wife and a mother. That I will break generational cycles of divorce, abuse and disfunction.
I am in training now for what the future holds. Each day is a choice to grow personally and let the Lord mold me.
