We had climbed up to the highest point on El Camino de Frances, the Crux de Ferro (the iron cross) and had been descending steeply down the mountain when we came to Casa Del Peregrino – marketed as the best albergue on the Camino. Amanda, Kyle and Daniel had already checked in and Amanda and Daniel were sitting in front of the fireplace. It had been a moist day, walking through the clouds and the fire helped us dry out.
After dinner, Jenny and I sat down to enjoy the fire and chat with Daniel and Amanda. After some time, Daniel headed to bed and Jenny went to gathered her clothes from the line. Amanda is an introvert and likes to observe. She thinks about many things and once you get her talking she really opens up. As she was telling me stories, I noticed that she has a lot of anger, she holds grudges against people and has trouble letting go.
We talked about her finding freedom in letting go – like in Disney’s Frozen. Amanda shared that she likes to hold on to things because then when she does something to someone, she can say “remember the time?” and then they can even the score.
As Amanda, Daniel and Kyle walk, they have many conversations about the future. One day she asked Daniel what kind of marriage he wanted and what he would do if his wife cheated on him. Amanda said she is planning to keep a record of all the things her husband does and when she hits a point, she will unleash wrath on him. We talked about how unhealthy this behavior is of holding on to things, keeping records of wrongs and not forgiving others. How this mostly hurts Amanda because most people have no idea she is suffering with these hurts.
Amanda brought up her relationship with her Step-Father. He has been with her Mom since Amanda was 3. Amanda has never felt valued by him and she feels that her Mom chooses him over her often. She gave an example of her Mom asking her how her day at school was and Amanda beginning to tell her and then her Step-Father interrupting and her Mom turning her attention to him. Amanda “put up” with this behavior until she moved out. Now when she visits her Mom and her Step-Father interrupts, she “goes off on him.”
Amanda does not believe in Jesus as her Savior. She knows that there is something or someone working in the universe. I hope to have more talks with Amanda and to continue to show her Christ’s love. We began some healing talks but she needs Jesus for inner healing and wholeness. Would you pray along with me that she will meet Jesus along the way, that she will begin to let go and work through her hurts. I know she can find complete healing and peace in Christ alone.
