Here in Livingstone, Zambia as I walk through our community, on dirt roads and pot whole ridden paved streets, I am constantly called by two names: Mzungu (Mazungu) and Big Mama. 

Mazungu means white person/foreigner. When I am called mazungu, I can agree, yes, I do look different than my neighbors. I can wear the same clothes and style my hair the same but I will always look different. 

When I am called Big Mama, it's because of my size. Because of my size, it is assumed that I have had many children. 

I have never been married and have  not birthed any children. 

Marriage and children are a desire of mine. The Lord knows the desires of my heart, to be a wife and mother. 

I am in a period of practicing patience, trusting God to bring my helpmate (husband) along. 

A man who has a deep relationship with Jesus. A man who loves people. A man of strong character, who is hard working and caring. 

It's a bonus if he is taller than me because I'm not always able to reach things. 

Each time I am called Big Mama, I have the choice to let it bring me down by reminding me of what I do not have or to let it serve as a reminder of what I am waiting and believing the Lord for.  

I choose to let Big Mama be a reminder of the promise God has given me - that I will be a wife and a mother. That I will break generational cycles of divorce, abuse and disfunction. 

I am in training now for what the future holds. Each day is a choice to grow personally and let the Lord mold me.