I was hiking along a straight 17k stretch and decided to listen to a podcast. I picked The Boundless Show from Focus on the Family. It was episode 451 – Rejected is the title, if you want to have a listen. On this episode, Lysa TerKeurst the founder of Proverbs 31 Ministries, talks about her newest book Uninvited which deals with rejection. As I listened to Lysa, I began to think of times when I have been rejected and talked to Jesus about them and any effects that could be lingering from them.
In 2009, when I quit my job at Nestle, to hike the Appalachian Trail (AT), I put together a 26 page paper of research about the trail and through hiking. I submitted that paper and a 2 page bullet point paper to the mission’s committee at my church. My purpose in hiking the AT was to share the love of Christ with everyone I met. It was to be my first longer mission trip. I was asking the church if they would support my trip. After my submission, I was called in to talk with one of the pastors. He asked me several questions and after some time he said “I’m going to be honest with you. You are overweight, you will not make it far, so we will not monetarily support you. Why don’t you go to a ministry that we already have missionaries at, that we support? That would be better for you.” I was floored. I thanked him for his time and continued persuing and preparing for the trip I felt the Lord was calling me on. Later that month, I had been invited to share about the trip at my Mom’s church. I gave my presentation and after the service, a man that did not attend the church came up to me and wanted to support the trip, he gave me a check for $1000! He never went to that church again while my Mom attended it. I sent him thank you letters and updates along the AT but I have not heard from him again. That man’s gift was confirmation to me, that even though I was overweight, I was following where the Lord was leading me.
I was on a leadership team with another woman and she was talking to me and I allowed her to vent some. When she was done talking, she was finished with the conversation. I realized in that moment that when I would try to share some of my stories with her she would not want to listen. I asked her about what I had just observed with her dumping/venting to me and then her wanting to walk away not allowing me that same opportunity. She said I was correct, that was what she had been doing because when I tell a story it has many details and I verbally process and she did not want to listen. This played back to the rejection/lie of being too much for others.
Along El Camino, I have had ney-sayers because of my size. I met a German woman five days ago and had a chat with her after lunch. She has come out each Spring and Fall for the last five years and hiked 100-150k sections of El Camino. She is short, trim and smokes. While we were talking she asked me where I had begun and I told her in St Jean Pied de Port. She laughed and we kept talking. I saw her the next day along the trail and she was in disbelief that I was hiking. She said the day before when we talked she thought that because of my size maybe I was one of the people who takes taxis or rides the bus every day. I said no, I hike each step of the way. I saw her for five days, each day while we were hiking and she was amazed that I was hiking along as well. At first, I was a bit offended that this stranger was doubting my abilities because I am large. But that is something I have faced for a long time. It did show me that I have more work to do to be unoffendable. Each time I met her, I would pray for her and share some of Jesus’ love with her. She said she was not interested in God but I would take the opportunities that came along. She went back to Germany yesterday and I will keep praying for her.
These are two areas of rejection that I am continuing to work through, being rejected because of my physical presence and being too much for others. I wanted to share them with you because you also may be working through rejection. Rejection is something we all have experienced and we should be able to share with one another and encourage each other through.
Hi Tina,
I think you will hit quite a nerve with many of us, as rejection at some level or another, is something I think we all either fear or have lived through. The worst is when it comes from your own family (your team of origin) or from your church (our spiritual team). God is Trinity and therefore in fellowship (like a team), supporting one another. We wish our family and our church were a reflection of God, but we live in a truly fallen world, the enemy wants us to feel rejected. When we feel rejected, we forget the truth that Jesus loves us so much, He died on the Cross, so that we could be adopted into His family (His team) with him in heaven forever. Rejection causes us to get our focus off him and onto ourselves. At least this is true for me, I don’t know about others.
We are also called to speak the truth in love, which is not rejection, but embracing. What you experienced seems to me to be unloving and could that be why it feels like rejection?
Tina, Keep praying, Keeping trusting God, Keep depending on the Holy Spirit to lead you. This week in my small group, the verse that kept coming up was not the famous 1 John 1:9, but the one before it…v8 if we say we have no sin, we are deceiving ourselves and the truth is not in us… huh? who would say they have no sin, of course we all sin…oh wait–I think the Lord wants me to speak the truth in love to MYSELF! Yikes!
I was deeply convicted by this verse and resolved to stop indulging my own sins and start being more determined to root out my sins, confess them to my gracious Lord Jesus and receive His loving forgiveness. I know it will be hard work and it will begin at home. Thanks for listening! 🙂
We love you and are praying for you.
Your stories of your pilgrim’s progress are wonderful teaching, and so interesting. You are meeting amazing people out there, it is a big world…that God so loves…Thank you for writing!
Hi Tina,
REJECTION! What a topic! I read several emailed inspirations every morning. Ironically your connection was the third one I read on the topic of rejection/failures. I have been an entrepreneur since June and the road is challenging. However, it is messages like yours that seeks out the drive in me to triumph over adversity. Thank you for sharing! Your road less travelled path is forever lit by our Lord and savior Jesus Christ! I don’t have to say e en in darkness the light still shines because you live this and we are fortunate to share in your experiences. I am forever prayer for your journey which is essentially out journey here on this earth! Be well!
Tina
You are doing what God has laid on your heart. Rejection is heartbreaking and we ask why but when this happens to me I try to remember that Christ was rejected and he was perfect sooo if people are rejecting me I am experiencing just a minuscule amount of the rejection that Christ experienced. This helps me to grow in Christ. Also remember that those who reject you are missing out on the blessing of you and your friendship and godly fellowship. Hang in there you are awesome God loves you just the way you are